Show Me Your Friends...

…..And I will show you your future. 

That is how the old adage goes, and for the most part I agree with it.  Like-minded people are more likely to associate together.  Anyone who has taught or observed a children’s class in elementary school will observe the phenomenon in action as the unruly ones may migrate to the back of the class room and the studious ones tend to stake their position at the front.

It is this principal that parents keep in mind as they supervise the activities and the company that their child partake.  For this reason, parents are looking for activities that allow their young ones to grow, learn and thrive.  My biased opinion is that this is why so many parents chose martial art training.  It allows their child to develop physically (through the techniques and workout) as well as emotionally (through the development of discipline, respect and focus).

As well as friends and acquaintances being an excellent barometer for the potential of success in our young warriors – I am often gratified to meet the parents of the students.  Right away you can tell how committed they are to excellence for their children.

I had the opportunity to meet such a group last night during our Registration.

We invited the parents on to the floor to train with their young ones and every one took us up on the offer. 

It was a great class !!

We talked about safety (no-go-yell-tell), discipline (the three types), focus (a black sash is a white sash that never gave up) and learned techniques and combinations.  The energy in the class was great, the parents were motivating and encouraging with their children, and the kids were super-focused and well mannered – what more could a Sifu ask for…..?

One comment that I would like to pass on is the importance of leading by example. 

At the end of the class, we were about to start our station workout.  I gave the opportunity to the parents to observe this part of the class.  Not one of them took me up on it – they chose to get in there and workout with their child, doing their push-ups, sit-ups, etc. right along with the class.  Afterwards, during my ride home, I reflected on how important it was to demonstrate to our young warriors that it is not a case of “do what I say, not what I do”. 

To everyone (parents and young students) that attended the class last night, I would like to say thank you for joining us, you all did an excellent job and it was indeed a pleasure to meet you in person – I look forward to our martial art growth over the months to come….

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BULLIES: The scrounge of society – Part I

There has been a lot of press recently regarding the issues of bullies and the challenges that are younger people face at school and in their social settings.  Five or six years ago, I was interviewed on Talk 640 (e-mail me if you would like sound clip from the show), a Toronto radio show regarding the issues of bullies.  Prior to that interview I had looked into the statistics and I would like to say that they are staggering!!!

As a professional Martial Art Instructor, we quite frequently have young students coming to us as a result of bullying.  It is ironic that we see both sides… We have parents they bring their children in because they are being bullied - we also have parents bringing in their young people to prevent them from becoming bullies.

As I discussed in my previous blogs, respect, discipline, and integrity to training in Martial Arts gives will allow a student to resolve most issues without resorting to bullying.   It further allows students (most times) to resolve the conflict without falling prey to bully tactic.

One issue that I sometimes struggle with is the current public schools policy of Zero-Tolerance.  In theory, it is a neat process that would eliminate bullying from the schoolyard.  Unfortunately (I believe)  the practical reality is that the bullies ignore the “policy”  and the policy actually handicaps victims of bullying.  Seven years ago I had a conversation with a  mother whose son was being bullied at school. She was told in no uncertain terms that if he ever defended himself he would be suspended.  She was told this by the principal of the school.

This is troubling because of the message I felt it was conveying to our young, impressionable children.  In principle, the lesson was don't do anything to resolve the situation, and trust that an authority figure will eventually resolve the situation.

…And if there is no authority figure then suffer in silence.

It is my firm belief that every parent must come up with a solution that suits their ideals or philosophy.  As a parent, I always told my daughters that they have my full permission to defend themselves.  I felt quite confident in saying this, because I knew that they would not be the instigators… But I most definitely wanted them to stand up for themselves and what they believe is right.

I told them that if there were repercussions because of them protecting themselves, then I, as their parent, would deal with it.  But I did not want the thought of retribution paralysis them from taking action.  There is an old fighter saying that is “I would rather be tried by 12 (jury) than carried by 6 (pall bears).

I consider myself extremely lucky that they did not suffer significant bullying as they went through elementary, middle and high school.  Both of them having studied martial arts from a very early age and I believe that had something to do with it.

Their confidence portrayed that they would not be an easy victim to a bully, and we all know the bullies look for the easy target.  In addition, they had too much confidence and self respect to need the attention gained by being a bully.

I would be interested in hearing your thoughts on bullies and experiences that you may have had either as a student or as a parent of a student.  Feel free to email me at torontofsd@gmail.com (if you wish to remain anonymous) or post your comments below this blog.

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FEBRUARY IS FAMILY MONTH AT TORONTO FSD

Along with my previous posts talking about the benefits of the martial arts; like focus, self-discipline, and respect, I am greatly encouraged by the number of parents who are choosing to invest in their child’s future by having them train in the martial arts. 

As many of you know, I have 2 daughters (now aged 18 and 17).  They both started training when they were 4& 5 years old and are still training to this day (15 years later).  My youngest daughter – Chayse – is well known for her abilities and skills in teaching the younger students, whereas my oldest, Jenna, is my secondary when I have to demonstrate advanced and weapon techniques. 

In addition, my wife Sam also trains consistently.  For us, the martial arts have always been a staple in our daily routine.  There are many times, when we as a family would take a drive to the school on a Saturday night and do an hour or so of training together before we went out (to a movie or shopping).  I always found this to be great quality time spent with as a family as we did something together that was good for us.

And the results have showed – (I admitted some bias here) – quite frequently I am complimented on the behaviour of my daughters.  Strangers have commented on how respectful and mature they are – and this is when they were in their early teens.  Besides the commitment we, as parents, have – I also attribute this to their training in the material arts. 

February is family month at our school – please give us a call or stop by to see how a family member can get a FREE MONTH of training.

Stay Solid,

Sifu Scott

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