Learning From Failure

Last month we had the annual Fang Shen Do training day / Kung Fu Olympics.  For those of you that have not participated in this event, it is a very inspiring event, with two double gyms being used for all the training.

One gym is used by the adults – and the students are exposed to some high level training by the best that Fang Shen Do has to offer – More about that later....

The other half of the gym is used by the junior students and it is overseen by Sifu Stephane, who puts an incredible amount of energy, planning and time into this event.    His stated goal is that all the young students have the best day of their year that day.  For those that don’t know, Sifu Stephane has previously won international awards for the energy and teaching that he puts into these classes.

 

This year, we had a record-breaking number of over 250 students attending from the 25 different schools.  You may imagine the level of energy that would be present in the gym with that many students training and having a great time.  I think we would be hard pressed to decide who had more fun:  the students participating or the parents watching.

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As always, there was an important lesson to be learned.

In our pre-day meeting, Sifu Stephane was addressing all the instructors to ensure that everyone was clear on their assignments and was ready to make this the best day possible.  He was very adamant that fun and safety be stressed in equal measures.  A large portion of the day revolves around competition and there are prizes and trophies given to the students that do well in the competitions.

What struck me was when Sifu Stephane made the point that a lot of kids do not know how to lose a competition gracefully.  He went on to say that part of the lessons of the day is to try your best, and to learn from your mistakes, so you can get better next time.

We have seen this many times in the past; where we seem to shy away from declaring a winner because we are afraid of hurting the other persons feelings.  Instead we use the phrase it is an “all-way-tie” .  I feel that this stigmatism is further compounded in the younger sports (soccer, baseball, etc) where they don’t keep score and everyone gets a trophy.   We have even seen this in our classes where students will walk off the floor, in tears, if they do not win the games.

 

As instructors and parents it is our responsibility to help our young warriors realize that failure is an important part of the learning cycle and that without it, you are not pushing yourself to your full potential.  As CS Lewis said: 

“Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.”

As with everyone, I have also experienced this.  It was one of these experiences that was partly responsible for me wanting to teach the martial arts, when I did not do well on my written Green Sash test.  It was then, that  I realized that Fang Shen Do was more than a having a killer right hook or a crushing blood choke.  This “failure” caused me to study harder, ask more questions, take notes – which then lead for me to join the Master Program and learn how to teach from Sijo.

 

It could have easily gone the other way.....

About 7 years ago, we had a high school student in our school in Richmond, who wanted to test for his green sash.  He had been with me for many years, but he shy-ed away from the harder training and did not train with the Black Belt Club students.  Both he and his parents were adamant that he was ready for the test.  Looking back with the aid of experience, I realize now that it was ego that was driving him rather than the burning desire to excel at Fang Shen Do.  Basically, he wanted a higher rank than his friend.

To make a sad story short, he failed the written test and never came back. 

After the test, I went over all his answers with him and showed him where he had made mistakes.  I brought up practical examples of things we had done in class and explained to him how that related to the theory.  As I was doing this, I could see that I was not-getting through to him; he was so focussed on the failure, that he could not see it as an opportunity for growth.

 

As a physical example of this, when you spar, you are going to get hit.  If you see this as a failure, then you should not spar.... if you see this as an opportunity to grow and get better (and not get hit in the same manner) then you have succeeded– even by being hit.

In 1999, my brother Greg and I used to drive to Winchester every Tuesday to teach a class in a school gym.  During this time, Greg was also getting ready for his green sash and used to use the hour drive to pump me for information on the test.  We were discussiong Lin Sil Die Dar closing one time and he mentioned that what he liked about it was that it did not allow you to dwell on your mistakes.  As the techniques are being called out in rapid succession, you have to “let go”  of the last one and concentrate on the next one.

 

To wrap up -  This is what we need to do – let go of, by always learning from our errors and coming back better and better.  Basic life lesson is that we will learn 10 times more from our failures than we will from our successes. 

Train hard and don’t be afraid to fail.

Stay Solid!!

Sifu Scott

Posted in: Personal Development